Viggo Rising (16:50:48): *Craig's sleeping again, I don't really like him taking the pills all the time, if they are going to knock him out, but I think he can use the break--so for now I'm not really saying anything. Orlando is still asleep though and that's kind of worrisome to me, I would have thought the pills would have worn off for him by now, he took them as I was patching up his hand. Sitting down on the bed next to him, I lay a gentle hand on his shouler, shaking slightly.*
prettyorli (16:53:00): *dark lashes part very slightly, then my eyes screw shut again, against the faint light in the room, a small groan escaping my lips*
Viggo Rising (16:57:23): Come on, wake up *My voice is quiet, gentle, fingers gently massaging your shoulder*
prettyorli (16:59:42): *lips open a little, draw in a long breath as I shudder slowly into a more wakeful state. Eyes opening again, closing, opening, trying to focus on you* V-Viggo?
Viggo Rising (17:01:57): Yeah, Craig's sleeping again, but you've been asleep all day, time to get up, move around a bit--get something to eat, at least something to drink. How are you feeling? *I brush fingers lightly through his dissheveled hair*
prettyorli (17:05:00): Asleep all day? Craig? I....*confused, I sit up slowly, finally noting the other figure in the bed beside me. For a moment I had forgotten everything, but now it was coming back in stops and starts. I look curiously at my bandaged hand* Oh...*a faint wave of medicated drowzyness washes through me, and I lean heavily against Viggo*
Viggo Rising (17:06:16): *I wince inwardly as he leans against me at a particular sore spot, but my only response to the action is to slide an arm around him*
prettyorli (17:07:31): *I sigh softly, starting to feel a bit more human* I feel...dunno, a bit blurred. You should have woken me...
Viggo Rising (17:08:49): You needed the rest, you deserved it. I was just getting a little worried. He'll be out for a while, would you like me to make you something to eat?
prettyorli (17:11:40): *A sudden ache in my stomach answers that for me* Yeah...thanks, I'll get up. *still struggling to recall all the details of the night before, there is a reason I rarely take strong medication. Blinking with sudden recollection* Bloody Hell Viggo, what are you even doing up. *I pull away, supporting myself on my arms* You beat each other two shades of blue..
Viggo Rising (17:17:51): *I actually look away from him at that comment...the response dies on my lips ~I should have done more~ but I don't say that* I"m alright, just a little sore *Okay, I'm a lot sore, but it's not important at the moment, it will pass*
prettyorli (17:20:37): *I frown slightly, something is not right, but my mind is working to slowly to protest anything. For the moment, all the complications and reservations involved in this fucked up mess are being looked at with a child's logic. Dark, trusting eyes look up at the older man, needing reassurance* And he wont come back?
Viggo Rising (17:23:30): *I want to tell him no, that Barry won't come back, that it's over. But I know it's not, the man said he would, and I have no doubt that he will. I've already made a call to the locksmith to have someone come out, the earliest they could come is later this evening, which I'm not happy about but what can I do? I'm not sure if I want to tell Orlando it will be fine, or tell him the truth. I don't want to lie to him, or coddle him* I don't know... *Inadequate, but true* He's not going to hurt either of you though, I promise. The locksmith will be here in a few hours, to change all the locks. We'll be fine.
prettyorli (17:25:57): mm. *i nod sleepily and close my eyes, accepting the last three words as more important than the rest.* I'd like toast.
Viggo Rising (17:27:07): Why don't you get up, you can come down with me--just for a few moments. Craig will be fine and you need to move around a bit before you drift back off. I'll make you toast, and something else--you need more than toast.
prettyorli (17:29:39): *cant remember eating at all in the last few days.* I might not manage more. *holding out my hand for Viggo, still pleasantly enough out of it to have no real feelings of worry or fear inside me*
Viggo Rising (17:31:03): We'll see then *I get up, taking Orlando's hand and pulling him up, despite the twinge in my side* We'll come right back up, he won't even know we're gone
prettyorli (17:33:25): Craig. *I'd almost forgotten him again. Looking over at the slumbering figure, only one feeling rushes back into me. I smile at Viggo* I love Craig.
Viggo Rising (17:36:59): I know you do, and he loves you too *I tug gently on Orlando's hand, realising he's still completely stoned* Come on love
prettyorli (17:41:43): *Slipping my arms around Viggo without a though to his bruises, clinging close as I pad heavily, wobbling slightly, down the stairs. I look around, reminding myself once again of where we are. The place is a mess and a violent shiver runs through me.* Oh god...Craig! *I look to the corner as if expecting to see him* God, Viggo....last night....*pulling away and stumbling into the room*
Viggo Rising (17:44:25): *I let him lean on me, oblivious to my own pain right now--more concerned for Orlando. Mental note about drugs and him...I wince inwardly as he pulls away and seems so distressed. Moving after him, I lay gentle hands on his shoulders* He's upstairs, safe in bed. And it's just us three in the house, it's okay...it's over *For now?*
prettyorli (17:52:03): *my eyes are confused. Everytwhere they look, seeing things athat arent there. Things that happened last night, re-enacted in memory. Craig crawling back across the room. Barry gripping my wounded hand. Viggo taking a vicious punch. I gasp and turn to him, lifting his shirt and tracing the lines of a blossoming bruise* Shit....shit. *the blurriness in my mind is swelling into a headache as more and more comes back*
Viggo Rising (18:06:15): *I gently take Orlando's wrists and lead him to the couch, sitting him down, careful of his injured hand* It's okay, little elf
prettyorli (18:08:58): *breathing hard in the attempt not to cry, in the attempt to understand what was coming back to me. Looking at Viggo's hands wrapped round my wrists* You said you wouldnt get hurt. You promised...
Viggo Rising (18:09:55): I said I wouldn't go off after him by myself, and I didn't. I"ll be fine, Orlando. *I bring one hand to his face, cupping gently*
prettyorli (18:14:34): *sighing softly, looking at Viggo with eyes a little clearer now fright has shocked me awake* Don't you ever break down? How do you do this? Stay this...this here, while everything falls apart?
Viggo Rising (18:16:02): I do what I have to *I've never thought about how I do it, I prefer not to look too closely* And of course I break down, I just do it in private... *That was more than I really cared to admit, but I think he deserves that. And I'm closer to breaking than I care to admit*
prettyorli (18:18:21): But...don't you understand...*I sigh, frustrated that I can't find the right words.* It doesnt matter.
Viggo Rising (18:20:10): It does matter, Orlando. If it matters to you, it matters to me. What is it? *Though I think I might have an idea...I need him to say it*
prettyorli (18:22:45): Thats...thats saying we arent good enough. If you can't cry or scream or break down with me....its saying I'm not strong enough, you dont think I could cope...*I sigh again* Maybe I couldnt. Dunno. *leaning back against the couch cushions, feeling suddenly cold again.*
Viggo Rising (18:25:47): It's not like that Orlando *I move closer to Orlando, not even knowing if he'll let me. I try to touch him, taking his hands again, feeling him shiver* You are both good enough--but you've both said yourselves I'm the strong one, right now I can't break down, and I won't put that on you. Not because you aren't strong enough to handle it, but because it's not fair to you. *I don't want him angry with me, I don't want the same iceyness that he's been showing towards me the last day or so, I'm not sure I can handle it.*
prettyorli (18:30:06): *quietly, wearily* Alright, Vig. *I close my eyes, argument too much of an effort. And not worth it, anyway. Not now.* I'll never stop loving you. * I murmer the words softly, sadly, almost to myself*
Viggo Rising (18:32:42): Orlando... *I move closer, touching his face, sighing softly* I love you, I'm not trying to hurt you
prettyorli (18:36:14): I know you're not. You never would. *my voice is quiet, sad, resigned to some fate that I will not speak of. But soft towards my lover. I open my eyes to see him looking at me, accepting his touch but not returning it* Its alright Viggo, it doesnt matter anymore. I love you too.
Viggo Rising (18:39:44): *Those words hurt me more than I could probably explain* It does matter to me *He's pulling away from me even as he's saying he loves me, I can feel it. And I really don't know what to do to fix it? Break down in tears in front of him? At this point I don't think it would be overly hard. I pull back from him since he's not returing the affection now. After a moment, I stand up* You should eat *And I head for the kitchen*
prettyorli (18:45:29): *I sigh to myself, sitting quietly for a moment, then getting up to follow, pulling another personality on, determined to try show less, lessen his burden by seeming a little more...me. Leaning on the doorframe, I offer a little smile. * Toast....and jam. And juice and cereal. *smile widens a little* hungrier than I thought.
Viggo Rising (18:47:17): *I might could have bought it, if I hadn't just seen him otherwise. I debate with myself for a moment--do I let us both pretend everything is okay, that neither one of us is hurting? Or do I call him on it, before this goes too far? As I get out the toast and put it in the toaster, I turn to him* That smile doesn't work on me, Orlando
prettyorli (18:52:31): *it fades slightly, but remains in place. /I can wear the same masks as you and Craig. I can cry in private, too./*
Its not for you. Its for me. If I can be happy and without a care in the world for an hour or so, I don't see that its wrong.
Viggo Rising (18:56:44): *Point taken. I move back over to Orlando, sliding my arms around him* Don't shut me out, please. If you promise not to do that, I promise to try and be better...
prettyorli (19:02:33): *I bite my lip, folding my arms aound Viggo and moving closer into his embrace, staring over his shoulder at the broken door, now boarded and taped up. Christ, he must have worked all day.* You be you, Vig. I'll be me. We'll both do what we need to, and I promise you it will work out for the best, okay? * Yes. It will turn out for the best. I turn and kiss his cheek* I love you, you filthy human.
Viggo Rising (19:06:08): If you're upset with me, you have to tell me though. Or this can't work. Will you at least give me that much? *I tighten my arms around Orlando a bit, just needing to feel him close to me for a few moments.* I love you, so much
prettyorli (19:09:22): *I smile softly at him. Can't say those words too much, today. I want to say them every other sentence. I love you, Viggo. I love you, and I love Craig, and thats why...* Yes Viggo. If I'm upset with you, I'll tell you. But...*but I don't think I'll be upset with you again* But just don't worry about me too much. You give me that much, too.
Viggo Rising (19:19:00): I can't help worrying *I kiss his forehead gently* It's what I do *My fingers trail through his dark locks*
prettyorli (19:20:29): *I colse my eyes, leaning into the touch* Just not too much. I can look after myself when I need to. And you're burning my toast...
Viggo Rising (19:21:31): I know you can, but I like looking after you too *I turn, chuckling low when I see the toast* Sorry, I'll put some new in
prettyorli (19:23:02): *I tut and smile, relaxing a little as the subject moves* Wastrel. Did'nt your mum teach you anything?
*I take the toast out, get a knife, and stand over the bin, scraping the burnt bits off* See? It will be fine with some jam.
Viggo Rising (19:25:59): *I chuckle as he scrapes the black stuff off* As you like, but I still could have made more. What else was it you wanted besides toast? *I move over to the refridgerator*
prettyorli (19:26:54): 8I check the list off on my fingers as I drop the toast onto a plate* Juice, cereal, a kiss when you get back over here...
Viggo Rising (19:29:15): *Grabbing the juice, I laugh softly, moving back over to him, sitting the carton down and pulling Orlando close for a gentle kiss*
prettyorli (19:31:31): *leaning into him, careful not to put too much weight against any of his bruises and injuries as I kiss back eagerly. My Viggo. Whatever he likes to believe, a smile *does* work on him.*
Viggo Rising (19:34:20): *After a few moments, I pull back, getting out his cereal as well and some of the soy milk he likes.*
prettyorli (19:35:39): *I perch on the table edge and nibble on my toast as I watch* You should have had more kids.
Viggo Rising (19:36:36): *I look back at him as I pour the cereal into a bowl and sit it on the table, intending to get him off the counter and at the table to eat* Why do you say that?
prettyorli (19:38:43): *shifting on the table and lying on my stomach so I can reach the bowl, juice and toast all at once, I glance up at him* They just would be so well cared for. I want kids.
Viggo Rising (19:39:59): Why don't you just have a seat? *I shake my head, chuckling* And thank you... *I trail my fingers through his dark hair* You do?
prettyorli (19:43:00): You couldnt stare at my arse if I was sat on it, now could you? *I grin and wink* Yeah, I do. Sam say's I'd be hopeless, I'd leave them on the bus and torture them by giving them names like Tangerine and Fifi or something. But I know I'd love them to bits, at least.
Viggo Rising (19:44:51): I don't think you'd be hopeless *I pat his ass lightly, the only response to his comment about it* And I have no doubt you'd love them to bits. I think you would be a good father.
prettyorli (19:51:19): Thanks. *smiles* I know you are. I bet my dad would have been, too. He cared about everyone.
Viggo Rising (19:52:47): I'm sure he would have been *I run my hand down Orlando's back, a gentle, soothing gesture* We could always adopt. *I'm teasing, but yet...*
prettyorli (19:56:08): *I slurp a mouthful of cereal, not answering, then lift a spoonful up to Viggo* Want some?
Viggo Rising (19:57:14): That's okay...you can keep your soy milk. Thank you though.
prettyorli (19:57:56): *pouts and slurps* and when exactly did you last eat?
Viggo Rising (19:58:24): I had a bit to eat while I was down here cleaning up when you were both sleeping
prettyorli (20:00:22): *I frown, but let it go* Did Craig sleep all day too? I only had half his dose of pills...
Viggo Rising (20:02:22): No, he was awake for a little while earlier, we talked a bit, but he was still hurting. I woke you up because you had been asleep for so long. Do things like that usually affect you so strongly?
prettyorli (20:05:27): Depends whats in them. But yeah, I do tend to get a little higher than most. Which aint always bad...*little grin*
Viggo Rising (20:08:36): No, I suppose it's not. I was just worried, that's all. We've established I'm a worrier
prettyorli (20:28:48): Yes, that we have. *sits up and reaches for Viggo, pulling him into a hug* I remember the first time I had a joint I thought I was going to die.
Viggo Rising (20:29:14): *I laugh before I can stop myself, returning the hug, coughing to cover the laugh* Really? Why?
prettyorli (20:34:29): *I prod him in a bruise. Only gently, teasing him.*
We were on the railway bridge near the school. They were having a disco and something, and me and my friends only went so we'd have an excuse to say out late. Ollie had some solid, his brother was very into it and I think he nicked it. and so he made this godawful, stubby little joint, and passed it around. And we were all, oh it doesnt even affect us. And then a train turns the corner. and I swear it took three hours to get past when its usually thirty seconds. And i felt like the bridge was shaking underneath me, and I wanted to run but my legs felt really long and wierd and I couldnt remember how to use them. And then I fainted. *grins* I was only 13.
Viggo Rising (20:37:19): Ow *I laugh weakly as he pokes the bruise, grabbing his wrist* You fainted? Oh dear, that doesn't sound good at all--I like pot myself, but I suppose it's not a bad thing that you can't really do drugs very well
prettyorli (20:39:34): *I roll my eyes at him* I think I'm a little more used to it now, love. And a bit more besides. Practice makes perfect.
Viggo Rising (20:40:02): *I chuckle, shaking my head* We should probably finish eating and get back up to Craig....